


Spell Damage and How (Not) to Solve It

by Litsetaure



Series: Magical Mishaps [1]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aberforth does not want to know what just happened, Albus is just confused, Canon Gay Relationship, Crack, Dragons, Gellert is a drama queen, It gets a little fluffy at the end, M/M, STUFF GETS WEIRD, Summer of 1899, The boys do swear a little bit, This is why you check spells first, this might be the stupidest thing i've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 13:25:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18099380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Litsetaure/pseuds/Litsetaure
Summary: Unusual spells are all well and good, but always make sure you research them thoroughly first!





	Spell Damage and How (Not) to Solve It

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not going to lie, this might be the most ridiculous thing I've ever come up with. But...it's my birthday and I wanted to give you something (hopefully?) cute and funny.

“I’m not doing it,” said Albus firmly for the third time. “No way. We don’t even know if any of these spells have counter-curses. I couldn’t find any sign of them anywhere in that book.”

 “If you try it on me, I’ll do that thing with my tongue,” Gellert whispered. “You know. The one that really makes you scream.”

 Albus turned to look at him. “I’m not sure how comfortable I feel about performing a strange spell on you in return for sexual favours, Gellert.”

 Gellert’s eyebrows shot up. “Everything we’ve done together and that’s what freaks you out?” He shook his head and laughed. “Besides, I can tell you’re thinking about it. You’re completely clashing with your hair.”

 “Oh, shut up.” Quickly, Albus looked away and re-read the page. “I really don’t think this is a good idea, Gellert. What if it turns out to be dangerous? There’s probably a reason this book was hidden away in the first place. Your aunt will kill me if anything happens to you.”

 “And you think she won’t do the same to me if anything happens to you?” Gellert snorted. “Look, what’s the worst that could happen? If anything goes wrong, I’ll say it was my idea. It wouldn’t even be a lie, would it? Come on, Albus, stop overthinking everything and just...just do it. Stop thinking so much and just live a little.”

 Albus sighed. “You aren’t going to stop asking until I agree just to shut you up, are you?”

 “Nope.” Gellert smirked. “So why not save us both a lot of time and just do it already?” He paused. “Unless you’re scared?”

 “Scared?” Albus bristled. “Just because I like to be prepared, it doesn’t mean I’m scared, Gellert. All right then, if you’re so sure, you cast it on me.”

 “No, no, you found it. You get to try it first. Think of it as a reward.”

 “Oh, thank you very much.” Albus rolled his eyes as he pulled out his wand. “All right, fine. But if anything goes wrong -”

 “I will take full responsibility.”

 “I’m sure you will.” Slowly, Albus turned back around to face his lover. “I want it known that I was against this from the start and I still think it’s a terrible idea.”

“Consider your opinion noted,” said Gellert. “Now, please try it.”

Mentally cycling through every single rude word he knew in a variety of different languages, Albus pointed his wand at Gellert and closed his eyes as he cast the spell. The foreign words felt strange on his tongue and he felt a sharp jolt go through him that nearly knocked him over. He stumbled and grabbed at the wall before opening his eyes.

 “Well, that was weird,” he muttered, patting himself down and finding, to his great relief, that everything seemed to be in order. In fact, it didn’t look as though anything had changed at all. Except that...

 “Gellert?” Albus frowned, realising that he was alone in the room. “Gellert, where are you?”

 There was no reply, but then he spotted a pile of black clothes on the floor, right where Gellert had been standing only a few seconds earlier. Except that he was nowhere to be seen.

 “Oh Merlin,” he groaned, bending down to look through the crumpled heap. “It must have been a teleportation spell. Who knows where it could have sent him?” He decided not to think about why his lover’s clothes had been left behind, instead choosing to sort through until he found the familiar silver pendant tangled up in Gellert’s shirt. But when he tried to pick it up, he felt something tugging on it. “What the -”

 But he didn’t get a chance to wonder any further, because something was now poking out from underneath the shirt. Something small and covered in tiny golden...scales. And with small pale claws that, nonetheless, looked very sharp.

 What on earth was going on?

 Slowly and carefully, Albus began to move the clothes out of the way to get a better look. His heart was thumping so loudly he was amazed that no one else could hear it. “Come on, come on,” he whispered, hoping he sounded calm and gentle in case whatever was in there was scared or confused, “come out, it’s all right, I won’t hurt you, I just need to - hey!” He pulled his hand back as something hot rushed painfully across his palm, leaving an angry burn. “Now, come on, that’s not nice, I’m only trying to help.”

 It struck him as slightly ridiculous that he was talking to something he could not even see, and that had already made it perfectly clear that it didn’t like him one bit. But there was nothing for it. Gritting his teeth, he picked up Gellert’s shirt and shook it out. It was a bit mean, he knew that, but he was thoroughly confused and more than a little worried about his missing lover. Not to mention his hand now hurt a lot.

 Suddenly, and with a high-pitched squeak, something fell out from the bottom of the shirt and landed on the floor. Albus dropped the garment and looked down, coming face to face with -

 He blinked. Twice. And rubbed his eyes. And then turned around and back again just to make sure he was not actually hallucinating. But no. There it was. Staring right back at him with a baleful look in his mismatched eyes.

 A tiny, not more than two feet long, gold-scaled dragon.

 With the blood pact pendant clutched tightly in his miniscule pearl-white claws.

So that was what the spell had done. A spell that, as far as they had been able to tell, had no sign of a counter-curse, or any way to reverse it. And now Gellert was a dragon.

 “Well,” said Albus finally, “your aunt is going to kill me.”

 The dragon gave him a look that he had seen many times on his lover’s face; somewhere between thoughtful and calculating. Then, with the faintest hint of what on a human might have been a crazed grin, he straightened onto his back legs, flapped his wings and, albeit rather unsteadily, though extremely quickly, took off and, after fluttering around for a few moments, managed to get his bearings enough to fly straight out of the window, the pendant still hanging from his claws.

 “Oh, _no_!” cried Albus, barely pausing to grab the book before he pelted after the dragon. He almost tumbled down the stairs and tripped over the doormat in his hurry to get back outside.

 Fortunately, Gellert’s shining golden scales made finding him relatively easy. As did the fact that his flight path reminded Albus more of a teenager who’d had one Firewhisky too many than it did a dignified and elegant creature like a dragon. Actually, Albus was slightly surprised that Gellert was flying so badly, since he was always so elegant and in control.

 “Well, almost always,” he amended to himself, feeling his cheeks flush a little. Also, he realised that maybe getting used to a new body, and new wings for that matter, might not be something that would come naturally to anyone, however talented they might be. Still, that didn’t stop him chuckling to himself when Gellert accidentally swerved too far to the right and smacked into the side of the barn. It also gave him the chance to whip out his wand and Summon him so that he landed straight in his hands. He did not look very impressed about it either.

 Albus shook his head. “Don’t give me that look,” he scolded. “You know what you were trying to do. Aberforth would have killed me if anything had happened to his goats.” To this day, he had no idea why his brother loved those infernal creatures so much, but he certainly wasn’t prepared to take the risk of anything happening to them. Honestly, as far as he was concerned, the only thing that could be more terrifying than a herd of goats was Aberforth’s temper if anything happened to them.

 Gellert, however, did not seem to share this view. The pendant had finally fallen out of his claws as he thrashed about in Albus’ grip, his wings still flapping as he squealed incessantly and tried to make another break for freedom.

“Oh, come on!” groaned Albus. “Can’t you just keep still for five - ouch!” He pulled his hand away as a set of small, but very sharp, teeth dug into his finger. “Look, enough! Seriously, I know you’re a biter and I normally don’t mind that, but now is really not -”

“Albus?” Aberforth had come outside and was watching him with a frown on his face. “What are you doing out here? And - wait, why are you wrestling with a baby dragon?”

He was so _completely_ screwed.

~*~

“You found it near the barn,” repeated Aberforth, staring blankly at the tiny dragon that was now crawling across the table and glaring up at him.

 “Yes.” Albus cursed inwardly, wishing he’d taken the time to come up with a better cover story. He had hoped for a little more time to sort things out in his own head before asking his brother for help. Still, he supposed he should make the best of things. “Loathe though I might be to admit it, you’re better than I am with animals - do you have any idea what species he might be?”

“Do I look like a bestiary of dragons?” Aberforth rolled his eyes. “How did it even get here in the first place - ow!” He yelped as the dragon sneezed, sending sparks out of his nose which hit him on the hand.

 “Oh. Yes, he tends to do that,” said Albus with a shrug.

 “Well, you might have warned me,” grunted Aberforth, rubbing his palm and wincing. Then he looked closer at it and frowned. “Huh. The eyes are different colours. I’ve never heard of that before.”

  _Shit_. Albus had completely forgotten about that. “Hmm. Perhaps there was a lot of inbreeding somewhere in his family tree.” He winced a little as Gellert swivelled around to give him what could only be described as a draconic glare.

 “Probably.” Aberforth looked thoughtful. “By the way, how do you know it’s a male dragon? I’m pretty sure you weren’t the one who took Care of Magical Creatures, and Hogwarts certainly doesn’t teach you how to look for a dragon’s -”

 Albus quickly stifled a snort of laughter as Gellert squawked loudly and indignantly. He was certain that if he could speak, or was currently human, his lover would be letting them both know exactly how much of a man he was, and at great length as well. “I think I read something about some male dragons having extra spikes on their tails or something. It’s for fighting, I suppose, I never thought much about it, but,” he stopped when his brother started laughing. “What?”

 “Albus,” Aberforth was shaking with mirth, “that’s how you tell it’s a _female_ dragon. The spikes are there to defend her eggs.”

 "Oh.” Albus inwardly groaned. Gellert was practically shooting sparks out of his - her? - eyes at that moment and the tiny claws seemed to wave threateningly at him. He was never going to hear the end of this, that was for sure. “Well, I’m not exactly an expert!” he protested, though he wasn’t sure if he was talking to his brother or to the increasingly angry dragon on the table. It was rather amazing, he had to admit, how something so incredibly small managed to look quite terrifying. Quickly, he scooped Gellert into his arms before he could try and set fire to the table and shot up the stairs, trying to ignore his brother’s cackling behind him.

 “Don’t look at me like that,” he snapped when he had finally reached his bedroom and shut the door. “It’s not my fault - you told me to cast the damn thing on you in the first place! And how exactly was I meant to know this would happen?” He blinked. “Merlin, I’m talking to a dragon.”

Gellert hissed and spat at him, though luckily without the flames, swinging his tail around and leaving a scratch in the wall.

Albus sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry, all right? But I didn’t know this was going to happen, did I? And how else was I supposed to explain your eyes? Oh, yes, I somehow managed to -” he broke off as the door burst open to reveal Aberforth, holding the old book and with one eyebrow raised.

“You left this downstairs,” he said, tossing it at Albus, who caught it deftly. “What were you doing, raiding Miss Bagshot’s library again?”

Albus shrugged. “Something like that.”

 Aberforth shook his head. “I’m telling you, Albus, you know I respect her and her ‘amazing library’ to use your words, but that nephew of hers is more trouble than he, or any of that, is worth.”

 “He’s certainly starting to be,” muttered Albus, fixing the dragon with a glare, only to yelp when twin sparks erupted from his snout and scalded his fingers. Fortunately, Aberforth had left muttering something about feeding the goats, as well as a warning to ‘keep that mad thing away from Ariana.’

 “Look, stop it,” hissed Albus, gently tapping Gellert on the head with his quill. “I will change you back, I promise. I just need to find the right spell first. But for now, can you just...behave? Please?”

 Gellert tilted his head at him, almost as though he was studying him, then he snorted and made a gesture that looked almost like a shrug before turning his back on him and curling up in a ball, the spikes on his tail visible.

Albus sighed. That was probably as close to agreement as he was going to get.

~*~

If Albus had thought that his lover being unable to talk would at least give him a bit of time to think in peace, he quickly realised that he was sorely mistaken. Gellert might not have been able to talk to him whilst he was in his current form, but he could still cause just as much, if not more, chaos. He flew around, either trying to get used to his wings or simply showing off. Either was equally plausible in Albus’ opinion.

He had, however, sincerely hoped that Gellert would at least keep enough of his humanity, for the lack of a better word, to eat cooked meat. That, unfortunately, had been quickly proven to not be the case, and in rather emphatic style. Apparently, he liked his meat either raw, or almost blackened by his own fire. Albus had darkly remarked that he was giving up meat after watching Gellert savage a raw steak for the third time. He could not imagine where such a small dragon managed to put it all, but, he admitted, he was entirely fine with lacking _that_ particular bit of knowledge.

 The worst part was the fire breathing. Obviously, Albus had known enough about dragons to know about the fire, but that made it no easier to handle. Even minute sparks turned out to be extremely painful and the larger fireballs might still be small, but they were still downright dangerous. Gellert might have had enough of his own mind to keep away from the piles of books, but not everything else was so lucky. Bathilda’s sitting room curtains, for example, would never be the same again, no matter how many charms were used to try and fix them.

Albus came to suspect that this was not dissimilar what it was like to own a cat. If the cat had gold scales, a spiked tail and spat tiny fireballs, of course. Gellert seemed to fluctuate between wanting to be worshipped as if he was a god - not, admittedly, that this was much different to how he acted most of the time anyway - or flouncing away as if he was mortally offended. This was usually accompanied by another spike scratch in the wall, or a scorch mark or several against the door.

He also had a habit of curling up and going to sleep on top of a page when Albus was trying to read it and growling when any attempt was made to move him, his claws snapping threateningly. He even refused to move when Albus turned the page, though this did not stop him from shrieking indignantly when the heavy page were draped on top of him. At one time, he had scrambled angrily around, scratching his claws against the page, actually ripping it to shreds, though the horrified screech Albus had ejaculated at the sight had apparently been enough of a hint for him to not do that again.

Of course, this meant that he had been forced to find a new place to sleep. Unfortunately, his new favourite spot turned out to be on top of Albus’ head. This was not a problem when he kept still, though the cold scales on his belly felt very strange. However, he rarely did keep still, and his claws kept catching in Albus’ hair and ripping the strands out, which was very painful indeed. Even worse, he often sneezed in his sleep - apparently, he had a very sensitive nose as a dragon - which meant sparks or tiny fireballs. Albus had been woken up several times thanks to the faint but no less pungent smell of burning tickling his nose, and had even gone so far as to place a bowl of water by the bed for Gellert to sleep in. Of course, that had not lasted long, because he had thrashed about and screamed all night, and had flown around the house shooting sparks at anything he could see the following day.

On the fifth day since the incident, Albus was woken before sunrise by claws scratching at his forehead. It was hardly the first time this had happened, so he only grumbled to himself and rubbed his eyes before sitting up and scrambling out of bed. But it was only then that he realised that, unlike previous mornings when the dragon had simply been lying relatively calmly on top of his head, Gellert was now clinging onto several strands of his hair, his back legs flailing in mid-air as he tried to climb back into his usual position. Of course, the surface was turning out not to be as strong and stable as he had hoped and Albus had a brief glimpse of mismatched eyes widening in horror as Gellert’s grip gave way and he tumbled through the air with a high-pitched squeal, landing in the middle of a tangle of bedsheets.

Albus shook his head and picked him up, petting his wings. “You know, I thought you would have already learned that my hair is not the most ideal thing to be clinging onto. Especially not with your tiny claws.”

Apparently, that was not the right thing to say, because Gellert gave him an extremely offended look and, taking care to dig his claws into Albus’ arm, he jumped down from his perch and skulked under the bed with a snort, scorching the floor as he did so.

“Suit yourself then,” muttered Albus. He found the container he’d bewitched with a Cooling Charm and pulled out a few small chunks of raw meat, which he then carefully threw under the bed. He winced at the loud sounds of chewing - Gellert was almost certainly doing it on purpose - but still tried to settle down with yet another one of Bathilda’s older books. A cloud of dust flew up his nose as he opened it and he coughed, blinking as it stung his eyes.

He turned the pages very slowly, taking care to study each spell as closely as he could, though his head felt as though it was full of water and his eyes felt heavy with tiredness. It was almost sad, he admitted; these spells had the potential to be so fascinating, but he was so tired, not to mention frustrated, he just couldn’t take any of it in properly. He resolved to come back to the book later on, when this problem had been fixed.

After what felt like an hour, he finally spotted something that looked promising. It looked to be written in the same language as the original spell and, from the illustrations surrounding the page, he deduced, or rather he hoped, it would reverse any transfiguration spell cast on a human. He briefly considered bringing Aberforth over to test it, but dismissed the idea almost immediately. Having one dragon around had been bad enough, the last thing he wanted was to have to deal with two.

It was hardly ideal, but it was as close as he had come so far and he was thoroughly fed up. He missed his lover, it was true, but more than that, he missed his friend. He missed having someone to talk to who didn’t try to set his hair on fire and who didn’t keep flouncing off in a huff every five minutes. Really, Gellert was more dramatic as a dragon than he was as a human, and that, Albus had to admit, was saying something.

He was about to shout for Gellert to come out from under the bed, tell him he had finally found a counter-curse that would hopefully work, but before he could get the words out, he suddenly had a rather interesting thought of his own.

Honestly, Albus wasn’t sure what had come over him. He didn’t usually think of himself as petty after all. But a small smirk crossed his face as he heard the sounds under the bed of claws scratching at the floor and glanced idly at the deep scratch marks on his wrist. For such a small dragon, it turned out Gellert had been granted quite a viciously swinging tail.

He knew he would probably pay dearly for this, but the opportunity was simply too good to pass up. _Here we go_ , he thought to himself as he muttered the incantation under his breath. He only had to wait a few seconds before he heard some very angry German shouting (he was pretty sure most, if not all, of it was swearing in disgust) before Gellert came scrambling out of the bed. His hair was all over his face, which was bright red, he had a little bit of raw meat stuck in his teeth, and he looked thoroughly furious. He was also completely naked and quickly grabbed for a blanket to wrap around himself.

More out of relief that it had worked than anything else, Albus burst out laughing. “Nice. The flowers really bring out your eyes.”

“Shut up,” muttered Gellert, though he didn’t move to drop it, instead he held it a little closer.

Albus shook his head. “Oh come on, you haven’t got anything I’ve not already seen, remember?” 

“Except for raw meat in my teeth!” Gellert’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “You turned me into a dragon, Albus!”

“You did ask me to do it in the first place,” Albus pointed out.

“Really?” Gellert rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry, I must have missed the part where I told you to change me into a tiny lizard that can’t even breathe proper fire!” He swore again and stormed out, probably to go and find some clothes, or brush his teeth.

Albus shook his head and sat down. Of all the things to be annoyed by, it fit that Gellert would have been angry that he hadn’t been turned into a majestic dragon that could fly for miles and show off his fire-breathing skills. He probably thought Albus hadn’t cast the spell powerfully enough- and, to be fair, he had held back quite a bit - and that was why he’d come out looking so...well, adorable, actually. Then again, he could also have been annoyed by the raw meat, Albus supposed.

When Gellert came back, now fully dressed and with his teeth brushed, he seemed calmer, though still visibly disgruntled. “If you wanted to make a point about looking before you jump, there were more effective ways of doing it, you know,” he grumbled. “You...shit, Albus, you...” he gestured wildly at his lap, apparently unable to find the words to describe what had happened.

 _Oh. So_ that was _what he was really upset by_. Well, that was certainly something Albus could work with. “Well,” he said, crossing the room and coming to sit beside him, “perhaps we can take advantage of you getting it back, then? After all,” he added as a wicked thought struck him, “I seem to recall you promising to make me scream?” 

Gellert whipped round sharply, his mouth dropping open in shock. He seemed utterly lost for words and Albus briefly wondered if he had said the wrong thing, but then Gellert let out a growl and pinned him down on the bed, crashing their mouths together.

~*~

When Albus finally opened his eyes again, the sun was bursting through the curtains, but his throat was still raw and dry. He chuckled to himself as he recalled how Gellert had more than fulfilled his promise to make him scream, and with much more than just the trick he did with his tongue. His body ached pleasantly as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, shifting Gellert’s arm from where it had been flung over his back.

 “Albus,” Gellert mumbled, his eyes fluttering as he looked up at him with a pout. “Albus, don’t go. We were just getting started.” He smiled in a way that he clearly hoped looked seductive, but really just looked mildly petulant and frustrated.

 Nonetheless, Albus smiled and leaned over to kiss him. “Believe me, I have no intention of leaving just yet. I just have to sort something out first. Besides, you look like you could do with some rest before we go for a second round.” 

 On the desk, the book was still open, staring innocently at him. He waited until he was sure Gellert was properly asleep again before he reached over for his notebook and a quill. Maybe that spell could come in useful sometimes - if it was cast properly, of course. 

 He made sure he got the counter spell down as well, though. Just in case.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this wasn't too insane! I do have a follow-up in my head where Bathilda makes them fix her curtains ;)
> 
> Also, who knows? Having a spell that turns you into a dragon might be useful!


End file.
